To say that this past summer has been a virtuous one for Team Dragon would be a far stretch of the truth. What I had envisioned for this team over the summer was to be a handful of victories. Instead of was week after week of disappointment.
Listen I get it, summer is for fun in the sun, Getting wet and finding a summer love and above all else….winning t-shirts and gift cards every Thursday night . Sorry to inform everyone but thats not what happened. QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
Team Dragon has fallen apart over the summer. People were too busy or too lazy or too busy with work to show up. So people need to take a look at Them selves in the mirror and ask “whats more important in my life…My team or my career?”
I want to start out these rankings by ranking all the people who will not be included in these rankings. The reason why you ask? Because they have shown a lack of interest in-showing up and contributing to the team. If you are listen here you need to work a lot harder in making it back into the good Graces of team Dragon, until Then you are dead to me and the world.
On The Outs
Kory & RJ Garritano & Nikki Sergio
Its a sad world we live in when a trivia team starts to fall apart as soon as people start falling in Love. It feel like it was just yesterday Kori was there with the SINGLE BOIZ holding up the first place trophy. Fast forward a year later and RJ has a leash tied around Korys Gunt watch re-runs of the bachelor for the third time this week. Ever since Kory got his T-shirt he hasnt showed up to trivia once, which makes me wonder if thats all he was after this whole time. A measly old ugly t-shirt to add to his already hideous wardrobe.
As far as Mrs.Sergio Goes, it really goes to show you as soon as someone gets married that now their husband is now their main priority in life? If i ever find myself valuing my signifigant other over my own trivia team just take a dull butterknife and cut my fucking head off. Because that will be the day ive lost my true self.
OH YEAH LET ME NOT ALSO FORGET
The Old Cj
A lot of you may be wondering “the old Cj?” Yes the old Cj is dead. I knew this had been coming for the past few weeks……I get a text from Cj in a group chat that hes thinking about buying a new car. At first I was happy for him…..until i saw what he was looking at….An Audi A3?!?! i never saw Cj as an Audi guy, especially not an Audi A3. I was worried about how the Audi A3 would change him, that it would make him a different person. I mean when you look at Cj you see a Volks Wagon, maybe even a chevy Malibu NOT AN Audi A3. Ive know this version of Cj for about 13 year and it make me sad to know that hes long gone. I hope I can Get along with the new Krez Dick.
Celebrity Appearances
This year we may have lost some of our loved teammates but we have also had some Sexy fill ins. I thought i would give them some spotlight because every time they showed up they made that day special in their own way
Steven Norris, Zack Dickinson, Alex & Brittknee Martin/Lawng
Alright lets get to the long awaited rankings. im going to be using a bit of a different ranking system this time around. I will be highlighting your profile but i will also be giving everyone an AVG PPG: meaning how many points they typically score per night for the team. Let me say this first, these rankings are not Bias in anyway possible and are strictly performance based. With that said…Here we go:
9. Samantha Baro
Sam falls into the bottom spot of the rankings strictly based on her performance. Sam is only useful for the first two rounds of trivia. By the third round she is usually blackout drunk and becomes a hinderance to the team.
Aside from all her drunken downfalls Sam is there week after Week and I love that about her. I can always count on her to be in the passenger seat of Cj’s car (regardless or make or model).
Specialties : None
Weaknesses: Mental Stability/ Any type of Crush
AVG PPG: 3.2
8. CJ “Krez” Dick
This ranking may come as a surprise to the thousands of people reading this but i find it to be a fair ranking. There is one thing this team values and that is “Loyalty” and Krez has shown that he has none. He may be the team captain and the one responsible for submitting all the answers but if im being truly honest, I dont trust him anymore. He has lead this team to ONE handicapped win this summer. Many expected this team to come home with multiple wins but as of late we havent even placed in the top 3. Some people are even calling for his title as “Team Captain” To be taken away from him…… Do i feel that way’? “Next Question”-Gm of team Dragon
Some have said that ever since Krez started driving an Audi A3 that all he can think about is revving his engine outside of Ex-Girlfriends house to try and win her back. Why does he need this much speed, can only mean one thing. Hes trying to run away from something that he cant escape and he thinks an Audi A3 will get him there.
Specialties: Betrayal, Speed, Tv Shows
Weaknesses: Honesty, Staying true to the ones he loves,
AVG PPG: 32.5
7. Kelce Ryan Hultz.
Kelce is another member i can always count on the be there. Very similar to her roommate Samantha she usually end up very drunk by the end of the Game but Kelce is more resilient, she usually is still useful to the team by the end of round 4. Although Kelce has her dark side that most people dont know about. a Deep dark secret that she would hate to be exposed…..
Strengths: Blacking out, Children, the first three presidents, Camel Toes
Weaknesses: Dark Chocolate, Red Wine, Tight Jeans
Avg PPG: 15.8
6 & 5 Jackie and Keyawna
I put Jackie and Kiana Together for obvious reasons. They are both always out of state doing something more fun. Kiana lives in DC and has still made it to more matches this year than other members of this team, which bring a tear to this writers eyes. Her dedication to team dragon is top notch. She also has a wide range of knowledge and always gives a shot at placing in the top 3.
Strengths: Alternative Lifestyles, Asian Culture, Sherk Movies
Weaknesses: Falling in Love, 5 Sober nights a week,
Avg PPG 19.9
Jackie on the other hand…still has no flaws. Team dragon has placed every week that she has showed up Im also pretty sure she was there for the first time we got first this summer, she will never cease to amaze me and everyone around her. The world would be a better place if we had more Jackies…Side note: she may have a certain love interest but i dont want to expose their secret love so i will edit out their face to keep their anonymity.
Strengths: World Geography, Organic Chemistry, EVerything
Weaknesses: Nothing, Top Shelves
Avg PPG 7.2
4. Scotty “MAd Dawg” Martini
Scotty Mo, This man is basically the mascot for team Dragon. He cums almost every week and when he knows some of our teammates arent going to cum he finds someone to fill in and gets them to cum. Scott may not always cum on time but when he does cum he cums loud and cums proud, Im always happy to see Scott cum. Some people used to say that Scott Cums too Quickly, Like “Scott why are you always cumming before me, I told you to wait for me to cum before you came”. -Patrick Flaherty. The day Scott stops cumming is the day I stop cumming.
Strengths: Cumming, Fairway Woods, Space Travel
Weaknesses: Getting stuck on the moon, Cumming, Nickelbys
Avg PPG: 22.7
3. Patty
Patty is maybe the most consistent on the team in actually showing up. Dude is always on time and well prepared. Everyone loves Patty but i think we all need to take a look in the mirror and ask ourselves “WHy?”…….PSYHC!!!!! Did you really second guess why you should love Patty?!?! if you did how about you look yourself in mirror again and ask yourself “why am I such a stupid piece of shit and how did I forget to wipe before i got off the toilet? Whats that on the floor….Oh my God…its blood leaking from my anus” Patty will Fuck your mom and become your new step dad.
Strengths: Footlong Nathans Hot Dog Lookalike contests, Soccer, Geography
Weaknesses: Cars, French Kissing, Seafood
Avg PPG 38.5
2. Baker “Cool Guy” Dickinson
Honestly I got nothing bad to say about this guy. He is the GM and Coach of the team, he always makes great coaching decisions and substitutions. He knows when he needs to sit out a week and let other players get their shine. He was also there for both wins this year. A lot of people are wondering “How is this guy still Single” now thats a question only god can answer. He always shows up with a great attitude and makes everyone laugh. coming down to seasons end keep and eye on him for the MVP
Strengths: Anime, NFL (After Mike Vick Played for the Eagles), NBA
Weaknesses: Spelling, Music that isn’t pop Punk or Metal
Avg PPG: 26.9
1.Alexa “Brickhouse” Bricker
This should come as no surprise, This is Alexas first season on Team Dragon and what an addition she was. She is Easily our most powerful member. She kills it week after week, She dominates Music and thats our weakest category. She also comes in clutch in every other Category. Not to mention she is a Chest County native.
Strengths: Music, Friend Selection, Mathmatics
Weaknesses: Kiki Vodka
AVG PPG: 42.9
Higher Picks 